I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
