Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
