Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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