I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
