How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
