Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
