You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize