I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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