There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
