i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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