a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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