The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
