do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
