piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
