forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
