used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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