This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
