Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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