all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
