Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize