im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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