Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
