I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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