on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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