$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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