i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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