Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
