The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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