People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
