I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
