DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
