Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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