he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize