His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
