I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just high enough for therapy.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
