Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
