if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
