So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
