If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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