Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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