Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
