I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
