You work out of a Hotel?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
