That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dignity is for republicans.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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