This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
