Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
