So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
