Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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