just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
