Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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