i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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