You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
