i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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