Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
