he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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