What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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