Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
