Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize