I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
