Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
