...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
