I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just blew my weed a kiss
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story