YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.